Paige's Story ( Reader's Digest Version )

I found a place on Lance Armstrong's Website, a place to tell your story. It was all survivors. I guess not many people get a chance to tell their story when they die. They probably don't have much time to think about it while they are enduring the rigors of Cancer treatment. I thought it would be a great way to tell about a little girl that gave it the good fight. I wrote this as if Paige was telling the story. I guess I know her well enough to do that. The only problem is that I had fax a binding agreement that Paigee's story would belong to the Lance Armstrong Foundation; exclusively. That wasn't right ! This is what I imagine goes throught that sharp as a tack little mind... We only think she doesn't know !

I am Paige, I was diagnosed with Stage IV Rhabdomyosarcoma at the age of 4 1/2. I had less than 10% chance of survival. During my first year of chemo treatment and radiation I lost 20% of my body weight.

I endured Central Venous Lines, G-Tubes all inserted into my tiny body. I knew that if I relapsed I would not survive. My parent's never told me. I missed play dates, swim lessons, soccer...

During the 6 months of my remission I was found false positive for relapse the first week of my remission. Two days later they found that radiation had damaged a bone in my leg so bad that it looked like Cancer in Bone Scans. Then a month later a CT Scan showed 3 mets to my spine. My parents were frantic waiting 4 months till my next CT Scan. Finally while swimming in my pool one day a very large mass was found on my head. The mass was a secondary met to the Brain.

I didn't know then, but I would not live. Paliative treatment was all that I could hope for. For an entire year my Parents suffered knowing I would not live, trying to enjoy the time, all the while knowing the truth.

Now 6 weeks after completing that second year of Chemo I am in my death bed. I have been in bed on Morphine since September 6th. I managed to make it to 6 days of First Grade. All my friends want to visit, their Parents can't bear telling them that I'm dying. Still my parents won't tell me. I know. I see the fear in their eyes. I hear them cry at night. I hear the Hospice Nurses whisper outside my door. Morphine helps with the pain, but it makes me woozy. I sleep more than I want. I want to be with my Parents. I want to tell them I know. I want to comfort them.

My Parents taught me about God and Heaven. I'm expecting a big Party when I arrive. I don't want to....but I know there are people waiting for me. There will be Angels. My Father has told me about all the dogs he owned that are waiting for me. I'm not afraid. I am worried though how my Parents will make it though.