Long Time away

I feel almost like I have abandoned Paigee's memory having nothing to Blog for so long. This month would mark the 1 year period that I took off from work to be with her, giving Rosie a break from all the Medical responsibilities. As much as I tried to be there in that capacity, Paigee still wanted Rosie, and of course Rosie was there for her. Rosie was the most unbelievable Mother imaginable. Being able to juggle work and be at the Hospital with Paigeee so much in that last year of her relapse not to mention all the years of just being the world's best Mother. Looking back on those 32 months it almost seems like Rosie's devotion went unrecognized by people outside the immediate family.

It's an especially emotional time right now. Paigee's dog Cottontail went to live with Nana after Paigee's death. During his life, Poodha Cottontail was mostly Nana's responsibility with all that Rosie and I had going on with Paigee and our employment. Rosie called Nana, the Sherpa Nana because of all she did for us while she lived with us during those 32 months, including Poodha care.

Nana struggled with her rheumatoid Arthritis and what we now know is a torn miniscus in her knee. She struggled with the 2 flights of stairs without complaint during Paigee's treatment. After Paigee's death Nana went to her retirement with a Sister in Central California. Having to deal with Kaiser had meant a slow discovery into the diagnosis of the torn meniscus and subsequent delays scheduling appointments and now almost being seen by a specialist outside of the Kaiser System. Last weekend Rosie and I went to Nana to retrieve what we know have been told is, "her dog". During the time it takes to complete surgery on the knee and the subsequent recovery it is best if Nana not be responsible for the walking and care of a frisky 2 year old Poodle.

Having Poodha has been an unexpected pleasure. Having him in the House is almost like having a slice of Paigee back in our lives. We often look at each other in astonishment, thinking somehow in some way Paigee may be visiting us through this little white dog. I fear giving him up when Nana's health is better will truly be a difficult separation.

I returned to work after that year off last month, that too is a difficult reminder of Paigee's loss. The up note is I believe I have found a Company that is more a family than a cold Corporate entityp one who's only interest is in how many hours they can bill me out at. The majority of those 32 months I struggled with what can only be called a cold and uncaring Corporate Citizen. However, I have an amazing respect for Rosie's Company and the amazing compassion and love they exhibited during those 32 months. In my books there isn't much that can be said for having the title, "one of the top 10 Companies in the US". Best to move on now.

Those 32 months changed us in so many ways.